Not all those who wander are lost

19 Things To Stop Doing In Your 20s 1. Stop placing all the...

Sun, 19 May 2013 12:02:20 -0400

19 Things To Stop Doing In Your 20s

1. Stop placing all the blame on other people for how they interact with you. To an extent, people treat you the way you want to be treated. A lot of social behavior is cause and effect. Take responsibility for (accept) the fact that you are the only constant variable in your equation.

2. Stop being lazy by being constantly “busy.” It’s easy to be busy. It justifies never having enough time to clean, cook for yourself, go out with friends, meet new people. Realize that every time you give in to your ‘busyness,’ it’s you who’s making the decision, not the demands of your job.

3. Stop seeking out distractions. You will always be able to find them.

4. Stop trying to get away with work that’s “good enough.” People notice when “good enough” is how you approach your job. Usually these people will be the same who have the power to promote you, offer you a health insurance plan, and give you more money. They will take your approach into consideration when thinking about you for a raise.

5. Stop allowing yourself to be so comfortable all the time. Coming up with a list of reasons to procrastinate risky, innovative decisions offers more short-term gratification than not procrastinating. But when you stop procrastinating to make a drastic change, your list of reasons to procrastinate becomes a list of ideas about how to better navigate the risk you’re taking.

6. Stop identifying yourself as a cliche and start treating yourself as an individual. Constantly checking your life against a prewritten narrative or story of how things “should” be is a bought-into way of life. It’s sort of like renting your identity. It isn’t you. You are more nuanced than the narrative you try to fit yourself into, more complex than the story that “should” be happening.

7. Stop expecting people to be better than they were in high school — learn how to deal with it instead. Just because you’re out of high school doesn’t mean you’re out of high school. There will always be people in your life who want what you have, are threatened by who you are, and will ridicule you for doing something that threatens how they see their position in the world.

8. Stop being stingy. If you really care about something, spend your money on it. There is often a notion that you are saving for something. Either clarify what that thing is or start spending your money on things that are important to you. Spend money on road trips. Spend money on healthy food. Spend money on opportunities. Spend money on things you’ll keep.

9. Stop treating errands as burdens. Instead, use them as time to focus on doing one thing, and doing it right. Errands and chores are essentially rote tasks that allow you time to think. They function to get you away from your phone, the internet, and other distractions. Focus and attention span are difficult things to maintain when you’re focused and attentive on X amount of things at any given moment.

10. Stop blaming yourself for being human. You’re fine. Having a little anxiety is fine. Being scared is fine. Your secrets are fine. You’re well-meaning. You’re intelligent. You’re blowing it out of proportion. You’re fine.

11. Stop ignoring the fact that other people have unique perspectives and positions. Start approaching people more thoughtfully. People will appreciate you for deliberately trying to conceive their own perspective and position in the world. It not only creates a basis for empathy and respect, it also primes people to be more open and generous with you.

12. Stop seeking approval so hard. Approach people with the belief that you’re a good person. It’s normal to want the people around you to like you. But it becomes a self-imposed burden when almost all your behavior toward certain people is designed to constantly reassure you of their approval.

13. Stop considering the same things you’ve always done as the only options there are. It’s unlikely that one of the things you’ll regret when you’re older is not having consumed enough beer in your 20s, or not having bought enough $5 lattes, or not having gone out to brunch enough times, or not having spent enough time on the internet. Fear of missing out is a real, toxic thing. You’ve figured out drinking and going out. You’ve experimented enough. You’ve gotten your fill of internet memes. Figure something else out.

14. Stop rejecting the potential to feel pain. Suffering is a universal constant for sentient beings. It is not unnatural to suffer. Being in a constant state of suffering is bad. But it is often hard to appreciate happiness when there’s nothing to compare it to. Rejecting the potential to suffer is unsustainable and unrealistic.

15. Stop approaching adverse situations with anger and frustration. You will always deal with people who want things that seem counter to your interests. There will always be people who threaten to prevent you from getting what you want by trying to get what they want. This is naturally frustrating. Realize that the person you’re dealing with is in the same position as you — by seeking out your own interests, you threaten to thwart theirs. It isn’t personal — you’re both just focused on getting different things that happen to seem mutually exclusive. Approach situations like these with reason. Be calm. Don’t start off mad, it’ll only make things more tense.

16. Stop meeting anger with anger. People will make you mad. Your reaction to this might be to try and make them mad. This is something of a first-order reaction. That is, it isn’t very thoughtful — it may be the first thing you’re inclined to do. Try to suppress this reaction. Be thoughtful. Imagine your response said aloud before you say it. If you don’t have to respond immediately, don’t.

17. Stop agreeing to do things that you know you’ll never actually do. It doesn’t help anyone. To a certain extent, it’s a social norm to be granted a ‘free pass’ when you don’t do something for someone that you said you were going to do. People notice when you don’t follow through, though, especially if it’s above 50% of the time.

18. Stop ‘buying’ things you know you’ll throw away. Invest in friendships that aren’t parasitic. Spend your time on things that aren’t distractions. Put your stock in fleeting opportunity. Focus on the important.

19. Stop being afraid.

-Thought Catalog

humansofnewyork: “I’m trying to stay in the present and not...

Wed, 08 May 2013 12:02:16 -0400

humansofnewyork:

“I’m trying to stay in the present and not worry so much about the future.”
“What specifically about the future do you worry about?”
“You know, things, like… am I going to be alone?”

(San Francisco, CA)

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Tue, 07 May 2013 12:02:27 -0400

"Our relationships with music sometimes resemble our relationships with people: Familiarity can breed..."

Mon, 06 May 2013 12:02:18 -0400

“Our relationships with music sometimes resemble our relationships with people: Familiarity can breed contempt, we can grow apart and our connections can be rooted in specific circumstances that couldn’t (or shouldn’t) be repeated. Music has a way of tethering our memories in place — of making them vivid and specific — but a side effect of that is that our favorite songs and albums often get reduced to little more than fodder for nostalgia.”

- Stephen Thompson on what to do when you’ve burned out on your favorite music (via nprmusic)

If you’re feeling a bit low today, have some cute kittens....

Sun, 05 May 2013 12:02:24 -0400

If you’re feeling a bit low today, have some cute kittens. Kittens don’t judge. They just purr and are fuzzy and are love. So take a long look at the kittens, take a deep breath. Whatever is your struggle today, you can make it through til tomorrow. And tomorrow will take care of itself.

May 4, 1970: The Kent State shootings take place. The shooting...

Sat, 04 May 2013 12:32:38 -0400

May 4, 1970: The Kent State shootings take place.

The shooting of unarmed students by members of the Ohio National Guard at Kent State University, was one of the most notorious domestic events of the Vietnam War Era. It took place in the midst of a protest which itself was a reaction against government policy; antiwar sentiment was widespread throughout the nation, particularly among young people, so when President Nixon announced in late April that the U.S. military was to conduct military operations in Cambodia in pursuit of the PAVN and Viet Cong forces (which seemed to contradict his policy of Vietnamization and détente), student-organized protests on university campuses across the country erupted. These student strikes eventually involved at least 400 campuses, although the National Guard was deployed to only twenty-one of them, one of which was Kent State University in Ohio.

The Kent State demonstration began on May 1; the National Guard was called to the campus on May 2 by Governor James Rhodes, who denounced the student protesters and claimed that they were ”the worst type of people that we harbor in America”, comparing them to Nazi brownshirts and the Ku Klux Klan. Many in Kent and across the nation agreed with the governor’s condemnation of student protests, but just as many disagreed, to varying degrees. When the shooting and killing of Kent State students made national headlines, the issue remained just as divisive, with many believing that the students had brought the violence upon themselves. On May 4, the tensions between the guardsmen and students heightened. Tear gas was used in the guardsmens’ attempts to disperse the crowd, and at some point in the confusion, for some still unknown reason, a little under half of the 77 guardsmen present began to fire into the crowd of students. The guardsmen later claimed that they had been shot by a sniper and were firing in self-defense; this claim was denied vehemently by the students, who admitted to throwing rocks, and also by the New York Times reporter who had been on the scene. The reporter also wrote:

As the guardsmen, moving up the hill in single file, reached the crest, they suddenly turned, forming a skirmish line and opening fire.

The crackle of the rifle volley cut the suddenly still air. It appeared to go on, as a solid volley, for perhaps a full minute or a little longer.

Some of the students dived to the ground, crawling on the grass in terror. Others stood shocked or half crouched, apparently believing the troops were firing into the air. Some of the rifle barrels were pointed upward.

Near the top of the hill at the corner of Taylor Hall, a student crumpled over, spun sideways and fell to the ground, shot in the head.

When the firing stopped, a slim girl, wearing a cowboy shirt and faded jeans, was lying face down on the road at the edge of the parking lot, blood pouring out onto the macadam, about 10 feet from this reporter.

Four students were killed, and nine were wounded (one was permanently paralyzed from chest down). Of the four killed by rifle fire, two had not been participants in the protest. According to eyewitness accounts, the students were shocked at the fact that the guardsmen had fired upon them and even more shocked that they had fired live ammunition instead of blanks. John Filo, the photographer who captured the Pulitzer Prize-winning image of Mary Ann Vecchio and Jeffrey Miller (pictured above), also believed at first that the guardsmen were firing blanks. President Nixon expressed regret for the killings, although he suggested that the students’ disruptive activities had “[invited] tragedy”, and, according to a Gallup poll, the public agreed - according to the survey, only 11 percent placed blame on the National Guard, while 58 percent blamed the students. Eleven days later, two black students were killed at Jackson State University during an antiwar protest, though these events failed to capture national attention as the Kent State shootings did.

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Sat, 04 May 2013 12:02:19 -0400

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Sat, 04 May 2013 02:21:52 -0400

How to Kill a Scientist: a response to the Florida science...

Fri, 03 May 2013 15:29:56 -0400

How to Kill a Scientist: a response to the Florida science felony

I’m not saying to hand out medals to every mad scientist on the event of their first contained explosion (although I could get behind that), but there are better ways of handling this than with felony charges and expulsion.

And may the odds be ever in your favor

Fri, 03 May 2013 12:02:14 -0400

Mom: don't stay up too late, we have to get up in the morning

Thu, 02 May 2013 12:02:18 -0400

Mom: don't stay up too late, we have to get up in the morning
Me: who do you think you are my mother?
Mom:. . . . . .
Me:. . . i won't

"When you grow up as a girl, the world tells you the things that you are supposed to be: emotional,..."

Wed, 01 May 2013 12:02:30 -0400

“When you grow up as a girl, the world tells you the things that you are supposed to be: emotional, loving, beautiful, wanted. And then when you are those things, the world tells you they are inferior: illogical, weak, vain, empty. The world teaches you that the way you exist in it is disgusting — you watch boys cringe backward in your dorm room when you talk about your period, blue water pretending to be blood in a maxi pad commercial. It is little things, and it is constant. In a food court in a mall, after you go to the gynecologist for the first time, you and your friend talk about how much it hurts, and over her shoulder you watch two boys your age turn to look at you and wrinkle their noses: the reality of your life is impolite to talk about. The world says that you don’t have a right to the space you occupy, any place with men in it is not yours, you and your body exist only as far as what men want to do with it. At fifteen, you find fifteen-year-old boys you have never met somehow believe you should bend your body to their will. At almost thirty, you find fifteen-year-old boys you have never met still somehow believe you should bend your body to their will. They are children. They are children.”

- Stevie Nicks (via actias)

barbells-and-highheels: ladyfae: barbells-and-highheels: Wow....

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 12:02:22 -0400

barbells-and-highheels:

ladyfae:

barbells-and-highheels:

Wow. This actually just happened.

Okay, anon, here you go. This picture right here? Yeah, that’s my body. I kinda have a pooch. I’m bloated from eating, and I am indeed 30lbs heavier than I was two years ago.

Am I fat? Well, I have fat. I’m actually about 19% body fat believe it or not (athletic build, by the way). Am I unhealthy? Absolutely not. I eat for survival, I eat for nutrition, and I eat for pleasure. That makes me a shitload healthier than I ever thought I would be.

SO WHAT if I have trouble losing weight. SO WHAT if my body has fat, and my body is not the “ideal female body” because I don’t have a flat stomach or a six pack. It’s my body and I fucking love it.

I’m sorry that you are so sick, that you need to tell a girl to go return to her eating disorder just because YOU don’t like the way SHE looks. I’m sorry that you see me as fat an unhealthy, and I really hope you find a therapist that will be able to help you with your own insecurities so that you don’t take them out on everyone else.

I hope you find help, and I hope one day you realize how disgusting your words are.

Oh, and by the way, I could kick your ass.

Why doesn’t this have more notes?

I’m so honored that this is still being reblogged. Thank you everyone xoxo

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Mon, 29 Apr 2013 12:02:23 -0400

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Sun, 28 Apr 2013 12:02:33 -0400

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Sat, 27 Apr 2013 12:02:10 -0400

THIS ONE TIME AT BAND CAMP!!!!!!

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 12:02:03 -0400

THIS ONE TIME AT BAND CAMP!!!!!!

5 recipes for arugula One of the first greens to appear in the...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 12:02:26 -0400

5 recipes for arugula

One of the first greens to appear in the spring is peppery arugula. It adds a punch to any salad, but it’s also very versatile. We have five recipes that take arugula out of the salad bowl and into other dishes.

"No woman’s body type makes her deserving of emotional abuse. I don’t care if you don’t find a..."

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 12:02:32 -0400

“No woman’s body type makes her deserving of emotional abuse. I don’t care if you don’t find a certain body type attractive; you’re allowed to have preferences. However, that does not give you the right to try to make a woman feel bad about her body. People should be allowed to feel confident about themselves at any size. If your girlfriend is happy with her fat self, don’t try to change her.”

- Top 5: Tips for Men’s Advice Columns | BITCHTOPIA (via brute-reason)

discoverynews: Do we REALLY need bras? Yes and no (more no, but...

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 12:02:06 -0400

discoverynews:

Do we REALLY need bras? Yes and no (more no, but there’s no harm in yes… I think I’ll hand over to Laci on this one).